Dear Fucker And/Or Fuckers That Cancelled Stargate SG-1,

The fuck?

No, seriously, the fuck?

Now, I know this is kinda old news by now, but dude, how high are you? Now I know, I know, Sci-Fi fucked everybody when they decided to push the Season 3 Opener of Battlestar Galactica to October and while yes, I adore that show it’s by no means Stargate.

While yes, comparing Battlestar and Stargate is like comparing a delicious kiwi with say, delicious pineapple, it’s not what I’m here to do. What I’m here to do is to call you out, ‘cos it’s go time.

While yes, pushing Battlestar to October, effectively breaking up three hour block of the best science fiction programming in recent history is a huge mistake, well so is your face.

While yes, I’m sure that there’s a more appropriate sentence to use their I’m going to go with my first impulse; you suck. I’m now realising that I’ve started the last three paragraphs with “While yes” and now I feel silly.

But not as silly as your mom did when you’re face popped out and she was all; “why didn’t I get an abortion, ‘cos clearly this kid is going to fuck up some quality television programming.” Why do you think the Doctor slapped you? To make you breathe? No motherfucker, he was trying to kill you!

And now this straight to DVD business. How insulting is that? I mean, Firefly got it’s own Theatrical Release, well deserved as it was the best thing that Fox ever fucked up [also RIP Futurama, Arrested Development… etcetera… etcetera] but c’mon, dude. Don’t you put any faith in the fans? Apparently not ‘cos there’s going to be a Stargate II now, headed up by Dean Devlin, master of the hackneyed shit movies. Yes, Stargate was a great concept, but SG-1 is what made it great entertainment, made it great science fiction.

I can understand maybe a mini-series, that would be perfectly acceptable, I mean if it’s good enough for Farscape it sure as shit is good enough for Ben Browder and Claudia Black’s new job. I’m not ragging on them, just on whomever it is that thinks that a Direct-to-DVD is something that the fans will go for. Yes, I admit, I will buy it the day it comes out, and I admit I’ll buy whatever special edition and then the director’s cut and then the special-director’s-extended-too-hot-for-direct-to-dvd edition.

But that doesn’t mean I have to like.

Let’s comprise, ok? Maybe put out a Direct-to-DVD first to finish out the Ori storyline. Then, get this, this is the hard part, might be a little scary, a little ambitions, a little “out there.”

Make a SG-1 movie. A real one. One that will be seen in movie theatres. Maybe [here’s some free money right] use the Theatrical Release as a stepping stone to the third show that you’re planning. I know you’re planning it, you know that I know you’re planning it, so let’s not be coy.

Give the writers, the actors, the directors, the producers a chance to show the world what good science fiction is, not aliens coming to Earth and being taken down by the Fresh Prince and Seth Brundle. What’s the worst that could happen? Maybe lose a few million, right? In that case, go with the Gay James Bond idea, that’s a sure winner.

No Love & Certainly No Lollipops,
-Dan

Me and the face of the Earth have had a falling out

It’s very weird having my days off in the middle of the week. Wednesday and Thursday roll around and I’m all; yay time off. Friday rolls around and I’m all; boo Mondays and everyone else is all; el oh el, tee gee eye eff, which in turn makes me all; grr, I want fun times too.

Apparently some people are trying to start up a union at work, which makes me all; feh and them all; yay, special brownies.

There’s a message on my phone right now, but I don’t know how to get it. Got a new number when the move happened and I don’t know what the voice mail pass is. The blinking red light is mocking me.

I don’t have any food in the house and I want someplace to deliver me some tasty foods, any suggestions?

P.S. Rube, I’ll call you tonight, quit your whinning.

P.P.S. I may forget in which case I’ll call you tomorrow, so you may have to whine for an extra day.

P.P.P.S. I may forget tomorrow in which case, I’ll see you November 1st or something.

Clap

I heard an interesting rumour about Dallas Green the other day. It made me laugh.

Today the cable guy came and hooked up the internets and cable, but, apparently I broke the teevee in the livingroom on moving day and it won’t ever turn on. Not that I really watch teevee anymore.

Working, for reals, has got to be the shittiest thing to do for a living. I’m so fucking tired all the time. Why can’t being a vagrant be a high paying job?

I just realised that I didn’t make a single blog post in September. That is remarkably shameful.