I forgot to title this post

Stargate SG-1 has been cancelled/not renewed/whatever, which now means that the number one asshole in the world is no longer Pat Robinson, but is now whoever is responcible for said cancellation/non-renewing/whatever.

The other day at work I was sitting outside having a smoke and chatting with a co-worker. We ended up talking about relationships (co-worker is female – it was bound to happen) and I stated that I was single after the question was posed to me.

She said; “I have a friend who could use a guy like you.”

What I heard; “I have a guy friend just like you.”

I go; “Hala marlama, what?”

Awkward silence and furious sucking on my smoke ensues. Tip on how to not look gay #1: Don’t put things in your mouth.

I say; “Uh, you know I’m not gay right?”

She looks at me as if I’m retarded, which, fair enough, I am, and says; “I know.”

More awkward silence and I go; “Well, that’s good.”

Also, this story is quite possibly the most disturbing thing I’ve ever read.

Dr Pepper isn’t as good since they changed their packaging

Seriously, Dr Pepper tastes different now. I know that it’s in my head, but my long time love affair with the stomach ulcer causing liquid is seriously on the rocks. Seriously serious. It’s like, if Belmont Milds changed their packaging, I’d quit smoking. Ok, I wouldn’t, but I’d do very, angrily like.

This city, this city is haunted

I picked up the latest release from Alexisonfire, a band I’m not a big fan of, but thought I’d give them a chance, and frankly, I’m glad I did. I didn’t even know that they had a new album out, which goes to show how on top of the music world I am. I mean, I live in St Catharines, and the biggest thing to come out of there, I’m oblivious to it.

But hey, it’s me.

Anyways, before Rube makes any comments about me being a douche or whatever for buying an Alexisonfire album, let me just say – fuck you man. Fuck you and your wicked cool Spider-Man mask.

/Envy.

dan says:
so what’s new in LincolnLand?

A.D.I.D.A.S. says:
Not too much man…I went home a little while ago. That was ok. I took my pregnant girlfriend with me…that was interesting.

dan says:
hahahaha, i can imagine

dan says:
did your parents try to splash her with Holy Water?

A.D.I.D.A.S. says:
Hahah, no, they’re cool about it. They’ve known about it for awhile…and it’s not mine.

dan says:
I heard ’bout it actually, ‘cos Rube was all; “I hope my parents aren’t going to be dicks when Link’s pregnant girlfriend’s here…” and I was all; “Dude! He knocked a girl up?” and he was all; “No, it’s not his.” and I was all; “Gee-Wilikers Batman, I’m speechless.” and he was all; “She was pregnant and didn’t know it before they started going out.” and I was all; “Ohhhhh…. Okay.”

/End Scene

A.D.I.D.A.S. says:
Hahaha, that was awesome.

dan says:
Shakespere ain’t got shit on me

Money money money… MONEY

Next week, I’ve already picked up eight hours of overtime and I’m all of two days out of training. Hooray for capitalism. I’m really going to be bringing in the dough, which means I’ll a) be able to buy a guitar soon b) be able to buy a computer soon and c) visit Rube in Orillia from the First of November to the Third. I am very much looking forward to that.

I just got back from seeing Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and while I can say that it was far superior to that two hour long trailer that Brent-Douchebag-Ratner had the gall to call X-Men 3, Pirates 2 was no where near as good as the first.

The whole movie had me scratching my head going; “how is the monkey still undead since the curse was lifted?” and; “damn that Elizabeth is an opportunistic whore.”

Getting back to the subject of work, there are a number of people that look like “celebrities.” Such as;
-Fat Joe
-Horatio Sanz
-Parker Posey
-Stephen King

Work seems like it’s going to be a job that I can do very well and still have time to read a book during the course of a shift, which is awesome, because I’m all about the slacking. I mean, the reading and the bettering of myself. In all seriousness though, I’d like to stick out this job, you know, not have a nervous breakdown and quit and then spend two years all un-kept and slothy. It interests me to get into the training program as a “mentor.”

‘Cos at this point, I’m thinking that film school is going to be a no-go. I’m all poor and shit and there’s this little thing about my lack of talent standing in the way of a life of creativity. Speaking of which, my computer died recently and everything on it is gone, every page I’ve filled in with words, just gone, every last fucking thing from the last three years, whipped from existence.

Le Tear.

It’s been hotter than a monkey’s asshole on jalapeno pepper day at the zoo

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Those three days, Jesus thinks it’s a great idea to turn the heat up on the little EasyBake Oven that he’s nicknamed Earth. Never in my life have I walked outside in the summer and had my glasses fog up. But Tuesday the EasyBake Oven nicknamed Earth is so fucking hot that bam! I’m temporarily blinded. (I typed “blonded” instead of “blinded” and it’s totally my new word to use from now on.)

Getting up every morning at 5am is starting to really eff me up. I mean, today, my day off I woke up at 5am and stumbled around going; “uhga, me be late…” until I realised that, shit, it’s Saturday and I can sleep in as long as I want. 7am rolls around and there’s me stumbling around going; “uhga, me be late…” Oh. Right. Saturday.

9am, same deal, so I said; “fuck it, I’m going for a smokerette.”

Yes, ‘smokerette.’ When I’m not fully awake I blend words together (and many times whilst fully awake) and smokerette is my second new word to use from now on.

I’m totally not getting a tattoo now, ‘cos I forgot that I’m a complete fucking pussy.